My oldest
son has had a hard journey. In his 12 years before coming to live with us, he
experienced abuse, neglect and a lot of pain. He is rough around the edges, as
is his girlfriend; both sporting a myriad of tattoos. A couple of months ago,
he was at his job as a cook in a local restaurant and slipped and fell, hurting
his lower back. He was in a lot of pain. He didn’t want to go to the emergency
room as he does not have insurance but by the next morning, he could not walk.
My husband works at the hospital as a respiratory therapist so he was there
when my son and his girlfriend arrived. She had her 9-month-old baby with her
as well. My husband watched the looks between the nurses as she let the baby
crawl on the dirty floor. He noticed the serious delay in them giving him
anything more than a Tylenol for the pain. My son and his girlfriend were
assumed to be drug seekers. They fit the profile apparently and were treated
differently because of it. It was difficult to watch, especially for my husband
who suddenly felt torn between two worlds. Even with his presence and our last
name, it took some time for them to treat him as they would someone else with a
back injury; someone without tattoos or someone with insurance.
Our studies
this week of microaggression have been enlightening to say the least. I never
had a frame of reference for what I had been experiencing my whole life. Insensitive
comments, often made in jest, and biased treatment of those outside of the
dominant culture. My awareness is now heightened. I hope that 6 months outside
of this course and discussion, I will not have fallen back to a place of
complacency.
Tammra,
ReplyDeleteThis story has been an eye opener. I have seen this happen so often, but yet for some reason had never truly thought of it as classism, as compared to just a disregard for tattoos.
My fiance is heavily tattooed (full sleeves, entire front of his body, neck and leg). He is constantly judged. I am now realizing how many times a day he is showered with microinsults.
He works a manual job, which is unfortuantely a stereotype for his culture and the fact that he dropped out of school. Often, people who require his services aren't shocked that he is riddled with tattoos. However, he is intelligent, and often gives customers valuable feedback on their service, giving them an education on their cars, advice, and tons of friendly conversation. In fact, he even just was published in a local magazine becuase of his quality of service. However, he is always greeted with the comment that the person would never expect him to be so friendly, educated or helpful.
When I asked him to share some examples of microaggression with me, he never thought of these. The reason: becuase it is almsot a source of pride for him. He loves being able to break a stereotype. All throughout school, teachers told him he would be nothing, and he ended up feeling defeated, and dropped out. Everyday that he shows someone that you shouldn't judge becuase of the way i look, he 'wins' a little. Perhaps if he internalized these comments, as he had done with his school teachers, he would end up being less friendly and helpful, and not be able to prove them wrong.
Tammra,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this story. We all have biases and prejudice against some set of people and unfortunately people who wear tattoos fall into this category.Usually we carry our reactions too far. Why should medical attention be delayed or denied because of our perceived bias. We have a mind set about this kind of people and it is common to insult them. Lessons from this week should help us to exercise some caution as we talk and relate with people. Appearances are deceptive and just because some people do not match our definition of decency should not determine how we deal with them, way be making a big mistake or commit moral crime.
Tammra,
ReplyDeleteIt is not easy to remain at this level of heighten awareness... I am also hoping to keep the insights I have gained through this course and remember to practice what I have learn. Thank you for sharing your son's ordeal at the emergency room. It is not easy to as the cliche states "judge a book by its cover." But that's exactly what we see folks doing all the time. I hope he is doing better :)
-Angie
Thank you so much for sharing your experience. It is so sad to think that even those who are supposed to help us, nurses, doctors, EMT, police, etc, also stereotype people based on race, class, or assumptions. The world is a lot better than it was but it still has a long way to go to get to were it needs to be were all people are treated equally.
ReplyDelete