Adjourning...

The focus of the adjourning phase of team development is more on the well-being of the team members as they wrap up their time with the team (Abudi, 2010). I have experienced adjournment a few times over the years and the hardest ones to bid goodbye are those where relationships grew close either by working through a difficult situation or conquering a challenge. It may also be a group of long standing where we have grown close personally and professionally. Of course in order for those close relationships to form, trust and respect were firmly in place.

I could not remember any formal closing rituals I have experienced. This may be why I have been having some apprehension and sadness over our core studies coming to an end. It’s funny that this assignment is coming this week as I was just wondering if there would be an opportunity to hear classmate’s plans going forward and who might be joining me in my emphasis of teaching adults in the field. I have found the feelings of sadness growing a bit each week as we approach the end of this class and feeling a bit ridiculous that I would have such reactions. It is amazing how I have come to know and respect people so much in an online format. I hope to connect with many of my colleagues in these last two weeks to bid them well and let them know I will miss the meaningful interactions we have enjoyed. I actually get emotional thinking about it.  

I believe when you pour such effort into a collective goal and depend on each other as we do in these classes, an adjournment is essential. It is important to detach from the safety of our group as we step into new territory; stronger and wiser. I know for myself, I need the emotional closure as we near the end of this challenging adventure; without a doubt the most difficult and rewarding thing I have ever done.

Abudi, G. (2010). The five stages of team development: A case study. Retrieved from http://www.projectsmart.co.uk/the-five-stages-of-team-development-a-case-study.html

A Recent Conflict...

A recent conflict I experienced with a local colleague and fellow trainer in the field of early childhood is still fresh in my mind. There is an element of competition within our agencies creating an underlying tension that has existed for some time. I handle issues with her as I do with anyone else; matter-of-factly. I found out in our surveys last week that I am quite balanced in my aggressiveness communication with a good deal of sensitivity toward how others are doing or reacting within the context of an interaction. Despite this balance, I do struggle to stand up for myself at times, allowing stronger personalities such as hers to prevail.

Last week while in the middle of a presentation we were collaborating on, she announced to 35 participants that we have had a conflicted relationship and that she has recently come to have a new respect for me following a lengthy discussion of our cultures. The problem is, although I am often frustrated by her over-reactions at times, I do not feel as though I have any specific conflicts with her at all. I was embarrassed by her comment and don’t want to be associated with the unprofessional behavior I see from her at times.

I would love your advice on how to handle this over-sensitive colleague in a way that allows us to continue our collaborative relationship but doesn’t result in my being taken advantage of. I don't really want to become more aggressive in my communication but does it sound like that's what I need to work on?

Communication...A Personal Assessment

When I compared my communication survey results with those of my husband and father, there was one area of discrepancy that surprised me. I rated my level of anxiety during most communication exchanges to be in the elevated range. My heart beats fast and I have trouble finding my words at times. Both my father and husband rated me very low, assuming I did not have much anxiety at all. The reached this conclusion based on observing me on our worship team, singing in front of 500 people each week. At times I have to speak in this role and it is extremely anxiety provoking. However, from the congregational side, I do not appear nervous at all.

I knew that I had the ability to overcome these feelings and often do well with public speaking but I had no idea the discrepancy was as vast as it is. I feel that this drive comes mainly from me being quite competitive. I am thankful that I am able to overcome something that may be debilitating for someone else.

In addition, I have discovered that my communication with my family can be quite impatient and I am going to work on being a better listener with my husband and children; waiting patiently while they put their thoughts together in their own time instead of expecting them to communicate at the speed and efficiency I might desire.   

I discovered too, that my verbal aggressiveness is at a balanced level to where I am sensitive not to attack people and even when disagreeing about ideas, I am respectful. I like where I am at with this and believe this will be especially helpful when working with children, families, colleagues and community partners. I need to be a better advocate for myself and my ideas instead of remaining quiet for fear of raising conflict. Stepping out in areas where I am uncomfortable will help me gain confidence and be a better early childhood advocate.

The Communication Dance

My communication style changes throughout the day in response to my interactions. A good amount of my time is spent communicating with my children. My tone is certainly more assertive and at times shorter than I would dare be with those outside my home. Friends are communicated in a relaxed tone, minus the assertiveness with which I manage the children. This relaxed tone is contrasted with my professional style of communication. There are various styles of communication that I use in my work. I am careful to communicate to families in a comfortable and relaxed tone while maintaining a level of professionalism. I even choose more casual dress clothes to match this tone. This sets people at ease and ensures the best chance of our having an authentic exchange. My communication style changes yet again when working with teachers in a coaching role. The dance is always a mix of listening, empathy and thoughtful response. My style when in my role as Quality Assessment Specialist is not as warm as I choose not to emotionally engage with classroom staff. My role is to observe and gather the necessary information. This role is unique to all others in that my presence is quite intimidating and I can’t go too far out of my way to ease those feelings of discomfort. This role requires me to deny my compassion and urge to rescue in the pursuit of an objective assessment.

Every dance is unique in its pace and style; causing me to stay on my toes.