When I compared my communication survey results
with those of my husband and father, there was one area of discrepancy that
surprised me. I rated my level of anxiety during most communication exchanges
to be in the elevated range. My heart beats fast and I have trouble finding my
words at times. Both my father and husband rated me very low, assuming I did
not have much anxiety at all. The reached this conclusion based on observing me
on our worship team, singing in front of 500 people each week. At times I have
to speak in this role and it is extremely anxiety provoking. However, from the
congregational side, I do not appear nervous at all.
I knew that I had the ability to
overcome these feelings and often do well with public speaking but I had no
idea the discrepancy was as vast as it is. I feel that this drive comes mainly
from me being quite competitive. I am thankful that I am able to overcome
something that may be debilitating for someone else.
In addition, I have discovered
that my communication with my family can be quite impatient and I am going to
work on being a better listener with my husband and children; waiting patiently
while they put their thoughts together in their own time instead of expecting
them to communicate at the speed and efficiency I might desire.
I discovered too, that my verbal
aggressiveness is at a balanced level to where I am sensitive not to attack
people and even when disagreeing about ideas, I am respectful. I like where I
am at with this and believe this will be especially helpful when working with
children, families, colleagues and community partners. I need to be a better
advocate for myself and my ideas instead of remaining quiet for fear of raising
conflict. Stepping out in areas where I am uncomfortable will help me gain
confidence and be a better early childhood advocate.
Hi Tammra, I found it very interesting that you mentioned your competitive drive in relationship to your anxiety when speaking. A very, very long time ago (in the days of dinosaurs), when I was talking a public speaking course, I had to do a speech on overcoming stagefright. My challenge was that I was unable to overcome something that I never really experienced. I spoke with my professor, and we deducted that because I am so competitive, overcoming stagefight just happened; I had no choice in order to compete in various competitions. Any uneasy feeling would have affected my presenatation. I totally understand your ideas. It's interesting that I remembered this... thanks for sharing, Tammra; your blogs is awesome!
ReplyDeleteHi Tammra,
ReplyDeleteGood thoughts! I find when people are good at getting the work done others think this ability comes easy to them. Sometimes they have no idea how much it takes to make it look effortlessly. I hope that sharing this with your husband makes him more proud of your public speaking abilities :)
Hi Tammra,
ReplyDeleteI feel the same way that when I am talking to the people from the family or to my close friends, I can be very impatient. However, when I communicate with people from work, I can be a very patient and active listener. I think all this has to do with the pressure that we have at work. I just want to take a break at home sometimes, when I am talking to my family. I just do not want to be so focused all the time. The thing is I probably hurt my family's heart, as they are so tolerant with me. I think this is something that I should improve in my skills when I am talking to my family. Thank you for sharing.