A
recent conflict I experienced with a local colleague and fellow trainer in
the field of early childhood is still fresh in my mind. There is an element of
competition within our agencies creating an underlying tension that has existed
for some time. I handle issues with her as I do with anyone else; matter-of-factly.
I found out in our surveys last week that I am quite balanced in my aggressiveness
communication with a good deal of sensitivity toward how others are doing or
reacting within the context of an interaction. Despite this balance, I do struggle to stand up for myself at times, allowing stronger personalities such as hers to prevail.
Last week while in the middle of a presentation we were
collaborating on, she announced to 35 participants that we have had a conflicted
relationship and that she has recently come to have a new respect for me
following a lengthy discussion of our cultures. The problem is, although I am
often frustrated by her over-reactions at times, I do not feel as though I have
any specific conflicts with her at all. I was embarrassed by her comment and don’t want to be
associated with the unprofessional behavior I see from her at times.
I would love your advice on how to handle this
over-sensitive colleague in a way that allows us to continue our collaborative
relationship but doesn’t result in my being taken advantage of. I don't really want to become more aggressive in my communication but does it sound like that's what I need to work on?
You seen to have some issue on your hands, have you tried meeting with her one on one or with a third person? Explaining to her your concerns... Good luck
ReplyDeleteI am not quite sure I understand the problem. I understand that you were not prepared for her confession in front of the participants; however, you don’t seem to accept that there is a conflict between the two of you as she has expressed. Perhaps planning a meeting between the two of you where you listen to her perspective and then express your feelings is the best way to go. I am not very confrontational myself and I try to avoid conflict as much as possible, but sometimes I realize that I am wasting much of my day thinking about a certain issue that if I go ahead and confront it, I would save myself much unnecessary headache. So even though it might seem hard, I suggest you call a meeting and let her know how you feel without being disrespectful in any way. Good Luck.
ReplyDeleteHi Tammra,
ReplyDeleteI suggest that you stay true to who you are and not allow others to dictate how you are going to be or how you will respond. Believe it or not; the aggressive behavior may be what she wants to manifest in you. Be honest and calm while telling her how you feel about her actions. You do not have to be loud and boastful to express yourself; just tell her and be finish. She will get the message.